How do I Overcome My Awkwardness to be More Confident




I am an extrovert. Like those common extrovert person do, I'm easy to start a conversation with other people. My friends also see me good and confident when I did the public speaking.

Honestly, there's always the awkwardness as my mental block. It can be when I was talking to a stranger, the elders, replying chats, coming to a crowded place, or even when I wanted to ask some questions.

And then, how do I battle this mental block of "awkwardness"? While the show must go on...

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1. I watched talkshow videos and interviews via YouTube, A LOT




Internet does really help me to overcome my awkwardness. Thank to YouTube, I significantly improve myself to bond with people. Since I was a kid, I used to watch talkshow in the television. Kick Andy, Oprah Wenfrey, and The Ellen Show. Merely, I was the shy-shy-cat-girl on the block.

From elementary until high school, I was a very awkward girl. I was not the type of girl who started talking first. I wasn't the funny one you could talk with. I'd ever come to an extraculliculair in my high school. I met a senior there, but I was just silent until there was a friend of mine that came into the room. Actually, the senior was very welcome and fun to talk with.







In the college, I often watched Kick Andy videos on YouTube. I like how Kick Andy interviewed people. He's friendly, humble, and funny. I learned how Andy Noya started a dialogue. Until finally, he could throw jokes in the middle of his interview with the guest.


2. I started greeting and asking small things


Andy Noya started an interview with his guest by asking small things first. The small things that weren't to small to be turned out a conversation. I tried the trick. When I came to a group, and got only myself with one of my friends in a room, the first thing I used to do was greetings.

Chit-Chat isn't a criminal. It will lead us to a good conversation, or bad conversation

By greeting other people, I could break the wall of my awkwardness. By greeting other people, I got myself with the following questions to ask. Such as, "Do you have any class after this?", "Do you already got a task from Mr. X", and etc. 

Maybe, my little questions weren't so important, but I thought it was a good start though.


3. Go out of my circle


I was too comfortable with my circle. And I know that comfort zone was the most danger zone. So, I decided to take myself out of my circle. I tried to know the geek tech circle, the baby boomers, friends with the receh jokes, the famous one, and etc.  So many diversities that could blow my mind!

When I encouraged myself to understand the people out of my circle, I could get many references to understand varieties of people. Be with the people out of my circle allowed me to enlarge my perspective of something.

I couldn't easily judge other people, positioning myself, and knew how to behave. Because I'd the references from various circles, so when I met new people, I could have the feeling of what types of people was him/her and how to behave. 


4. Strolling around by myself


Maybe it's kinda weird, but strolling around is something I can do to have a 'me' time. It makes me understand myself well. It's not about the matter if I'm single or taken, lol. It's only me, strolling around by myself. Without a friend nor family.

I could observe the crowd, people hustling around malls, markets, and book stores. When it came to go to mall, and then I wanted to bargain some stuffs. That was the time when my awkwardness was being tested

I might be awkward, shy, puzzled about what to say. In the end, those blocks made me learn how to broke them. In the end, I just needed to wipe away those blocks because they weren't that big to deal with.
 

5. Simple, I Just Google It


Awkwardness is oftenly attack me when I needed to reply some chats. This was also the main reason why I didn't like chatting that much. Moreover, when he/she wasn't my closest person. It made me feel so awkward. I was puzzled which words that is proper to greet, using "Hi" or "Hello or some local languages like, "Punten" or "Excuse me."

Those small things are matter. It could make me thinking for a long time and ended with a stress. I used to finally reply them with some rigid, or even unpolite. *Cry*

And then, how did I overcome those small things that matter?

First, I asked my friends. I'd ever been going to reply a chat from a lecturer. I felt like my words were common and polite. But, I wasn't sure when I was going to send it. I re-read the previous chats. I even asked my friend first, was my language proper or not. 

Fortunately, I'd not send it already. My friend said that my language was too direct and that seems unpolite. He helped me to correct the right sentences. It was like a format, lol. I couldn't imagine what if I send it earlier without re-read and followed my feeling.

Second option, I asked Google. Ok, Google. How to face a friend that is a selfish? and etc. Of course, technology can help as simple as that. I think.

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Well, that's all my tips about how to overcome awkwardness. Maybe, my tips are different with other people. The most important thing is you should kindly understand yourself first. By knowing our plus(es) and minus(es), later we will know how to overcome them. See you!


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